And so begins Halloween Horror Nights XIII, voted one of the top 10 haunted attractions by "Haunted Attraction Magazine." We heard the rumors, we said they'd never do it in a million years. We'd heard they intended to use a snuff director as the icon for 2003, they did, and we were wrong.
For the two years post 9/11, Universal had taken a softer stance with HHN, so we were completely taken aback when the ad campaign struck... black and white commercials.... eerie scratchy renditions of "You oughta be in pictures," and the fish-hooks! And it continued to get better when the Studio forwarded copies of what local newspeople would look like after "auditioning" for the director and a few of these television peronalities found it less than humorous (tho some ate it right up).

Along with the director, we'd heard rumors of an "Extreme House," one so horrifying that you would only be allowed to enter if you were over the age of 18... that there would be physical demands of patrons, to be unlike any other house they had tackled thus far. We doubted this too, as litigation-shy as the studios has appeared over the past few years, but then THIS was on the news as fact. This house would not come to fruition, in it's place I suppose would be "Infestation." Extreme in it's own right, visctims would volunteer themselves, and leave their fate to the spin of the Director's wheel.... Seated on a small platform stage in the park, a box was placed over their head, and any number of ghoulish crawly things would be placed into the box with them... the choices rats, snakes, roaches, beetles, scorpions or the "Director's choice."

More surprises and confirmations that Universal was aiming towards a more "mature" audience awaited us at Port of Entry... for most, this would be their first impression of the event, and what an impression! A wind tunnel effect greeted patrons as they cautiously entered the gates, sinfully scary, covered in low lying fog, the sexually charged atmosphere seemed to pulse in time to the heavy drum beats that filled the air. Guests were greeted by the Incubus and his lovely Succubi companions, slave girls danced on platforms behind them.... but just the right height for the sexy stilt-walkers to trade innuendos with when they weren't "flirting" with the crowd.... Hauntfreak's very own "Seahag" asked one of the lovely ladies just how tall she was. Her response? "Nine foot nine, worth every inch of the climb, and you without a ladder." After being advised by the Succubus to "Stop harrassing his women," he offered to tear the group apart and feed them to the girls one piece at a time. According to Haggy, the girls seemed to like this idea, but her group politely declined. As always, the make-up and costuming were amazing, we would expect nothing less. As we left the park that night, we encountered more of the creatures from this area, more stiltwalkers, eyes and mouths sewn shut... they were a personal favorite with the group... just an amazing costuming job.

The only concept attempted by the park that did NOT work, sadly was in Toon Lagoon, "Hide & Shrieeek." After the success they had the previous year with "Tweaks and Foons" and a street full of foam, they let us down this year with a concept that perhaps worked well on paper but did not translate to real life. Small black and white patterned stations were set up throughout this island, the actors dressed in fabric to "blend in" to the stations, which were portable. They attempted to contort to blend into their backgrounds, but their feet were always visible. This effect works well when actors belnd into rooms within the houses, and while haunted attractions ask you to suspend belief, asking us to be frightened by rolling screens with matching actors was beyond what most could muster. I literally felt sorry for the actors who had drawn the straw to be an "ink blot."

Toon also hosted "Ship of Screams" in the queue for Bluto's Bilge Rats. Fans of past events pleasantly reminisced of "Fritanic," we're not familiar with the older house, but we hear that this one did not quite live up to its predecessor. We loved the artwork that had been done, advertising from an earlier century welcoming you aboard... the interior very dark, and very wet, it worked well as an abandoned ship, though there are still limitations of utilizing the queue areas and it leaves one feeling a tad claustrophobic at times. Not as action packed as some of the other houses, it gave a quieter, eerie atmosphere. Portholes invited you to venture closer, to look into the cabins on the damned, only to be startled by actors on the other side.

Again, Boo-ville remained silent, as no change from the Geisel family about using this portion of the park, serving only as an entrance to the soundstages utlized for Screamhouse Revisited and All Night Die In.